First of all, if you watched our videos on Instagram last night as we were trying to find some stock images for this darn, article, Yuck! There is a major shortage of stock plus size photos on the internet! We even have membership services for stock photos! And, we couldn’t find any!
We recently read an article about the 14 things you shouldn’t say to someone losing weight on MSN.com. And, eh… they were kind of lame, and a bit repetitive. So, we thought we’d come up with our own short list of things not to say. And, we also thought we’d address weight CHANGE in general, since there are women and men who decide to gain weight for various reasons (or stay the same size… which is fine too!)
First of all, let’s be clear- It’s usually not a smart idea to discuss someone’s weight unless you know them very well. The topic can be a hot button. Telling someone they have lost weight is not always okay. We make it a point not to make that comment, at well and would rather discuss someone’s happiness and health in general! Losing and gaining weight happens to everyone for different reasons at different stages in their lives. But, here are a few DEFINITE “No-Nos” we’d like to address:
- “Oh my god, you look fine, you don’t need to change your weight!”
- This is not okay! Someone being “fine” doesn’t have any bearing on them wanting to change their weight. This goes the same for “OMG!You’re so pretty! Don’t worry.” Beauty and size are not related… or at least they shouldn’t be. commenting on what they will look like after their weight loss (or gain) also probably not smart. Just let them tell you their motivation or what they hope to accomplish. It may not be about looks at all!
- “Oh, don’t try that diet, I did that one.”
- This goes the same for “Have you tried this diet?” or “Weren’t you just on a different diet?” Just… don’t. These things won’t be helpful from a non-expert. If you’d like to suggest some reading, as a friend, that’s a better idea. But, don’t force it. The same goes for someone looking to gain weight for medical or aesthetic (or any other) reasons.
- “What’s your goal?”
- It’s none of your business what someone’s goal is! Sorry! Furthermore, their goal may not be to lose or gain weight at all, if they are dieting. Instead, ask how things are going. Or, you can even ask “Hey, what prompted this? What are you hoping to accomplish with this new lifestyle choice?” if you feel you know your friend well enough. Support and interest are great. Coaching… not so much.
- “I thought you said you were on a diet…”
- Don’t EVER say this to someone who is weight sensitive. Even if you think you’re trying to help. You’re likely not doing more than making your friend feel really self conscious and uncomfortable. The same goes for “Is that on your diet?” Or “Are you really going to eat that?” Unless of course, you want a piece of their cake. Then you can say “Are you going to eat that last piece? Because, I want it and there’s some fresh cake behind the counter.” But, this is a different conversation.
- “Oh, yeah, I did that diet. I lost ____ pounds pretty quickly.”
- Your friend’s diet is not about you, it’s about them. Telling someone how easy that diet was and how much you lost weight when they may be struggling, is like telling someone with ADHD that “This exam should be simple.” Everyone’s body is different! And, that’s totally okay! Reminding them how easy it was for you to lose or gain weight can be really hurtful.
- “Oh c’mon… don’t you have a cheat meal or something?”
- The same goes for “I made this just for you!” and “You’re always on a diet… just take a break!” It’s REALLY hard to commit to a body or lifestyle change. Food something we “do” when we are being social. Let’s try not to ostracize our friends for making a change.
We’ve got some great weight-related content coming out, both from us, and our friend Chrissy Dunham. And, we’re super excited to hit up Vegas to do some fitness fun with Sarah Sapora in September! So, keep checking back at Bold Magazine for more! And Be BOLD!