Original Post on https://www.curvychicchick.com/– A few days ago I posted a status on Facebook addressing that I had a anxiety attack that evening and that I deal with anxiety publicly but often times do not speak on it. I received a few comments and messages from women on my page, talking about they appreciate that I was open about it, for those who struggle too. I think it’s important that as I pursue this mission for self love, I remain honest, and vulnerable to my friends and followers. 99.8% of my days are good days, but it’s not all sunshine and roses, all the time. Anxiety Disorders are among the most common in mental illnesses in the U.S, affecting 40 million adults ever year, it’s not uncommon, but why do we remain silent?
In my experience, it’s because when we do talk about them with people, people immediately assume you’re damaged or don’t know how to react. I’m not damaged, I just need a little extra love sometimes. I remember my first anxiety attack in Vancouver- I was laying in bed tears streaming down my face, struggling to breathe, and my boyfriend at the time, came over and held me until I calmed down. In that moment, that was all I needed. In fact, in most cases, anytime I had a bad anxiety attack, I could rely on that ex, even long after we broke up, and remained friends, to be my safety net when I was having a really rough day. It was in this moment the other night, that I realized this one would be one, I’d have to face alone. I took several deep breathes, counting to ten, and reminded myself it’ll be okay, until I was calm enough to fall asleep.
It’s been 3 months since I moved to Las Vegas and in that time I’ve experienced a lot of major changes, heck, in the past year alone- my body, my mind, my mental health, my physical location, relationships, financial situations, jobs. Life happens, sometimes in waves, and sometimes all at once and sometimes we don’t know when to take a step back. I often times find that I take on too much at one time, and I have to remind myself to slow down.
I laid awake that particular night thinking about the past, the present, and the future, and the tears started flowing, and my chest began to feel heavy. Despite waking up every day feeling so blessed for the adventures and the blessings I’ve come across in my life in the past few months, there was still this small part of me that hadn’t deal with any of the feelings behind all these major changes and eventually, I worked myself into an anxiety attack. I was full blown hyperventilating on my bed, trying to calm myself down enough to process and say out loud the words “you are okay”.
All of this to say that we’re all human, nobody’s perfect, we’re all beautifully flawed, and need to practice self love. This week self love for me is knowing and recognizing when to take a step back, and realizing that I can overcome ALL obstacles, on my own with the strength and love inside of me and that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Anxiety is different for everyone, it comes in many forms, and sporadically, it’s a very real issue, and if you deal with it, I hope you have the strength to talk to someone about it. My inbox is always open.
Tips for Dealing with Anxiety from the ADA: